A Window is Where the Wall is Absent

The life impulse to express and to connect arises in me and in all of us. This blog is a celebration of these life impulses. Please feel free to join in the conversation or to just visit. There is a Family Photo Album beneath the posts so you can "meet" my family and I. Welcome!

Showing posts with label presence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label presence. Show all posts

Monday, February 20, 2012

To Notice is to Make Conscious


Objects and non-objects can be noticed. To notice a non-object is to notice the noticing itself.

To notice a non-object is to notice the motionless space in which everything exists. Context and content are an inseparble balance.

Obsession with objects is the inevitable result of not noticing the non-object realm of spacious being.

Noticing is different from acquiring.

Noticing refers to what is already here.

Acquiring refers to what is lacking and therefore sought.

Noticing is an openness to what had previously been unseen.

The wealth of space in this moment can be noticed and made conscious.

In the flood of present wealth, the old compulsion to acquire loosens its grip.



Saturday, July 31, 2010

Saturday morning




Jack, my ten-year old son and I, were watching Weird Al Yankovic videos on YouTube like "Trapped in the Drive Thru" and just generally hanging out when a natural pause occurred.

"You wanna do a meditation?" I asked. "Sure," Jack responded.

A spontaneous guided meditation appeared that we both enjoyed.  I've been interested in sensing what is most immediate and primary, what is closer than any sensation or thought.  There are different words used to point to the immediacy and directness of the life that is here even prior to any sense perceptions or mind activity.  Words like presence, being-ness, awareness.

So in this meditation Jack and I started with the realms of sensation and thought and then opened to the realm of simply being.

It went something like this, with huge open pauses between each sentence:

Listen to the sounds that are occurring now.

Can you hear the sound of your own breathing?

Can you feel the air touching your arms?

Notice whatever thoughts are appearing.   Notice whatever feelings and emotions are present.

Now be aware of what is closest.

Can you feel your own presence?

Can you sense your own being?

Allow yourself to know fully the fact that you are here now.

When you feel your own life force here very clearly, you will notice something very interesting.

You will notice that now you can sense this same life force in everything else.

As you sense your own presence, look at the tree outside the window and feel its presence too.  Trees are full of presence.

Feeling your own being, you can sense the being of another person.
                                                                                                                                                                                                        
Keep feeling the fact that you are here, and now sense the reality, the being, of everything in this room- the table, the walls, everything is full of presence.

Feel the life energy inside of you and at the same time feel the life energy of everything that is here.

This is oneness.


We were silent and still sitting next to each other on the couch for some time.

There was a sense of the mind slowing down, a sense of being alive, present, and real.


Then we went with Greg to see the new Steve Carrell comedy, "Dinner for Schmucks", which we thoroughly enjoyed.  Now Jack is calling me so it's time to sign off.  Hope you enjoyed sharing this meditation with us.



Essence is everywhere, don't try to find it, just notice the fact that you are alive and aware right now.

Sensing the alive awareness that we are is easy, it just tends to be an underused ability in a mind-dominated civilization. For an instant, stop looking away from this moment into some kind of imagined superior moment.  Don't make it hard, simply feel the life that you are now- the life that doesn't need improvement and that couldn't possibly be improved.

~
Gratitude for photo, from this link: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.eastgwillimbury.ca/Assets/Environment/Sustainability/Green%2BTree%2BPic.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.eastgwillimbury.ca/Environment/10_Ways_to_Reduce_Greenhouse_Gases.htm&usg=__kAodJHRmoNrjwfIGFNu781Eluq4=&h=853&w=1280&sz=322&hl=en&start=150&sig2=nnj27xQ1YBjD9vFyCKQhYQ&tbnid=R3nvESuKiiIIwM:&tbnh=157&tbnw=209&ei=W6hUTOKoH8qAnwftjtSTBA&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dtree%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1366%26bih%3D641%26tbs%3Disch:10,3758&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=1050&vpy=214&dur=1259&hovh=183&hovw=275&tx=210&ty=77&page=8&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:11,s:150&biw=1366&bih=641

Sunday, July 4, 2010

What is here.



Listening to the sound of the dishwasher and looking at the cat napping on the blue chair, something is suddenly clear (it becomes visible as if  floating up to the surface of water).  It is this:  The mind will never be able to tell me who I am.  I've searched long and hard in the mind to discover my identity and it is not there.  I won't find myself in any thought or story or experience, not even in the experience or story of awakening, enlightenment, or self-realization.  Identifying with mind-objects (i.e. seeking my identity in objects such as thoughts, stories, experiences) is the basic confusion that I have suffered from. It's the basic confusion we all suffer from.

Even though I am myself always (it cannot be otherwise), there can be a sense of not knowing who I am, of being strangely lost and disconnected from the reality of my being.  Of being out of touch with what is most vital and real within me.

There is a longing to know directly who I am apart from any mental ideas.

What I want is some kind of fundamental, conscious contact with the being, the actuality of the life that I am in this moment.

What is prior to any mental idea of who I am?  What is here in the absence of thought?  What am I apart from ego, apart from any personal history? What is here right now?



The awareness or being that everything shows up in is prior to any appearance.

In seeing this, sensing this, there is a plunge into immediacy, a wake-up slap of reality.

Attention had been locked on the clouds (thoughts, appearances) and now opens to the sky (presence/essence).

This sky of awareness or presence is here at all times; inseparable from the experiences that arise but not confined to them.

I am in no way separate from my experience, but my experiences are not who I am. There is great freedom in this fact.  The sky is not confined by the clouds within it, and no human being is defined by thought.

The sky is not diminished when the clouds dissolve. If anything, the sky is even more present, or more apparent, when there are no clouds. A sky naked of clouds is not less of a sky. Without all the buzz of experience and thought, what I am is not diminished, but unveiled or more readily apparent. Without a big pile of accomplishments and failures and ideas and experiences (without all these clouds in the sky), the true essence of the reality that I am- the sky of awareness- is more readily apparent.  The very things I sought to define myself did just the opposite: they obscured "my" reality- the wide open sky.  All the things I thought defined me were more like a mask that alienated me from my reality.

What I want to know is not so much what I am but that I am.  I want to feel/sense/know my reality, that indeed I am very much alive, aware, in this instant, un-separated from life itself.

I am.

I am!

What could be more astonishing than the am-ness of anything at all, the am-ness that is typing these words, reading these words, the am-ness that is ubiquitous in the single sky that is everything?

There is a sensing/feeling/knowing that I am.  I can't wrap it up in a neat little mental package, but I can be what I am- effortlessly, unceasingly, like the space of the sky.

The joy of being is something real and present and accessible, and it is more satisfying than any passing experience.  Why pine after a cloud when the wealth of the sky is here?

What I want, it turns out, is what I've got:  Life.  Life as it is in this moment.


Not a single movement of the mind is needed to be what I am.

Not a single thing needs to be different in order for me to be fully who I am.  There is no circumstance that can block the fullness of being.

The dishwasher is quiet and the cat is still napping on the blue chair.  The presence that is here is alive and a great wave of benevolence moves through.  Thank you for being here and sharing this space.


~
Gratitude to Annette Nibley for pointing out that "without a single movement of the mind" being is known. Annette's extremely lucid writing can be accessed here:  http://www.whatneverchanges.com/

Thanks also to the video of Stuart Schwartz on Never Not Here TV, which powerfully points attention to the obvious. Video can be accessed here:  http://www.nevernothere.com/stuart-schwartz

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The fulcrum of attention



     The last few days, like many days, have been rocky.  My husband planted a rose bush a few inches from a brick wall and this triggered some discussion.  My teenage daughter seemed withdrawn and thoughts arose in my mind that caused turmoil. There are hundreds of lay-offs at the institution I work at due to downsizing, and I may lose my job.  You know the drill, from the mundane stressors to occasional intense angst that seems to come out of nowhere and have no cause,  life rolls on.  And beyond the tiny and sometimes larger travails of this individual life, there is the massive suffering and also joys of billions of people and animals on this planet.

      This morning I read a stunning essay on 'Sailor' Bob Adamson's website.  http://members.iinet.net.au/~adamson7/intro.html

      Bob helps me to see that there are basically waves and the space in which those waves occur.  Attention is usually riveted by the waves, but it is possible for attention to shift and become conscious of the space in which the waves occur.

      Waves, or vibrations, or patterns of energy, comprise everything that we are capable of detecting.  Thoughts, feelings, sensations, all physical and mental objects, are basically transient energy waves that appear and subside in the space of awareness.

      The noisy waves of thought and emotion and sensation are a magnet for attention.  Yet there is always the possibility of shifting attention to notice the space in which the waves occur.  Why bother?  Because this space in which everything occurs is the deeper self.  It is the space of present awareness.  Some might call it the no-self...the words don't matter.  The reality that the words point to is what matters.

      I'm not just my story, I'm the silent awareness that knows the story and without which there would be no story.  I'm the silent awareness that knows the story but is not itself a story.

      The story is the dream-like surface of life, and I do the best I can on this level, but remain in touch with what matters most: the deeper dimension of being, which is to say, the space in which the story occurs.

      The space and the waves are no more different than water and ice-cubes.

     Consciousness and the objects of consciousness are in no way separate. Awareness and the arisings in awareness are an indivisible whole.  They cannot be separated.  They form a seamless continuity.  Yet within this whole, it is possible to shift the accent of awareness from the objects to the aware space in which the objects occur.  Form and formlessness are one, as the Heart Sutra says.  We tend to be lost in form, but it is possible to become conscious of formlessness.  This is key.


      The space of now is where the waves called past and future thoughts appear.  It is the intersection of time and eternity, the intersection of the dream and reality, the intersection of ego and essence.  It is the fulcrum where attention can shift from content to space.  This is the shift from powerlessness to power.

     Most of my life I have been primarily aware of  the objects of consciousness, while I have overlooked the presence of consciousness itself.

      I have been lost in content and I have ignored (been ignorant of) the space in which the content occurs.  I have been focused on things and I have discounted the space of  no-thing that makes everything possible.  I have lived in the mind (thought) and been oblivious of the presence of awareness in which thought occurs.

      No-thing, space, awareness, consciousness, being, stillness, silence, emptiness, life, mystery, love, essence, Self, now, presence, freedom, openness, spirit, formlessness- all these words are synonyms that point to the immediacy of awake space that is the medium in which everything exists.  It is the dimension of eternity which is the substratum of all appearances.  It is the dimension of the unborn in which the born exists.

      Attention is shifting from the wave to the space in which the wave occurs.  Noticing is shifting from "me and my life" to the no-me space of being that is my deeper self.

      There is less interest in becoming and more interest in being.

      This shift in attention feels like new eyes are opening in me, quiet eyes that see what is without needing to comment on it.  Quiet eyes that can simultaneously sense forms and the space of emptiness from which all forms emerge.

      The exhausting and delusory effort to improve on the perfection of what is subsides in this moment.

      There is a sense of being one with the unfolding  mystery, of joining in the creative energy of the universe in its ceaseless expression of the good.  This is a radically different way to live than the ego stance of being a special-someone who is going to manipulate things toward correcting a mentally defined deficiency.

      Einstein said that no problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.  The level of consciousness called thought  has created the problems in the world today.  The mind has created the problems and only awareness can solve them, for awareness is a higher level of intelligence than thought.

      In my own experience it is the level of awareness and not the level of thought that solves problems like a rose bush planted close to a brick wall,  my relationship with my daughter, and the possibility of job loss.

      It is from this deeper level of consciousness that true solutions can be found for individual and collective problems.   Attention shifts to this level of consciousness easily when space is noticed rather than objects.  It is possible for anyone to shift the fulcrum of attention from thought to awareness.   See Bob's essay for a very clear description of this shift.

      Thank you for being in this space.

~

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