For a long time I've wondered what it means for the energy of unhappiness to become transmuted into the energy of increased consciousness. This morning I had a tiny taste of what this means and I'd like to share it with you.
There was a subtle, barely detectable sense of boredom, a very mild discontent somewhere in the background of my awareness. This kind of slight discomfort is normally shoved out of the way, to the periphery of awareness, like an annoying insect being shooed aside. This pushing away or ignoring of minor unease generally happens automatically, without even being noticed.
But today there was a movement in the opposite direction. The boredom wasn't avoided or evaded in any way.
It became a kind of invitation to a gentle, non-judgmental, interested, and quiet awareness.
I wrote in my journal: When there is boredom or any flavor of discontent, notice it, observe it, witness it, allow it, be present with it.
Then I sat quietly for a while and this is what happened. The energy of nonjudgmental awareness, the energy of the witnessing presence grew. Simultaneously, the energy of discontent and boredom subsided. In this way, unhappiness was transmuted into a keener awareness. Discontent became the fuel for awakening.
It's fun to play with this transformation of suffering into consciousness when the suffering is very tiny. The same process applies to large emotional upheavals, but for me it seems easier and more effective to go through this process at first with a very mild inner turbulence. Hope you enjoy your own experiments of spinning straw into gold.
An hour after I posted this I stumbled across these words from Nisargadatta:
All happiness comes from awareness. The more we are conscious, the deeper the joy. Acceptance of pain, non-resistance, courage and endurance - these open deep and perennial sources of real happiness, true bliss.
(from Non-Duality Highlights, # 4121)
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