Pain comes from mistaken identity.
Joy comes from true identity (which some might call no-identity or freedom from all identities, but don't get snagged on the imperfection of words).
No one can tell you your true identity. I looked everywhere for someone to tell me. That was fun, but became a way to avoid myself.
True identity is not something to be memorized in the head, it is felt freshly in this very instant as life itself.